Home sick

So surrounded by cleanness, I feel dirty. Copenhagen. I loved this city, but then the cold hit and the sun no longer lit the world. Summer was lovemaking and laughter. Winter now heartache and pain, our game in vain. Oh with stain glassed beauty, I miss my blood. Continents and oceans do nothing to silence the call from home.

I try hard to own my reality. Fearless I rise to face what little sun there is. But so palpably fear lives, lurking close, breathing rudely, face ripping heart tearing mind from limb, restricting movement.

It is so powerful for a thing that is not true. Feelings are not facts I mantra every day. Is there a dance to go with that beat?

Lost in moments divine, sick with pain, crippled by self, I need to get out.

Loathing. Don’t you know insanity breeds easy? My mind a magnet, fear a fact, opposites attracted but now home calls and its factored into the equation and the love won’t add up.

While I battle with turmoil and wear the blame, I love him. I say it every day in a different way. But where’s my casual freedom, I’ll run away cause I need some. He is nice. All sex appeal and, do you want to watch me drool? Mother fucker get a bucket, he makes me crazy like a sex puppet.

can I fuck it?

combine, a soothing word. But Synchronicity, we just ain’t got it. Face up to the fact, even if it feels like a smack to the face and a punch in the heart, it’s a start because it’s honest. Loveless and lightless and Copen in the Hagen! I want to be asunder in the land down under.